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dear readers, can you help?
Hi friends. Let’s just be really honest here. I’ve not known how to pick up where I left off. I got slammed. Slammed with busy (not proud of that). Slammed with sick (not fond of that). And slammed...
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born again
We stand in the dark. His head on my shoulder, chest to chest we sway without sound. Steps away, floating up, in. We hear it: Amazing grace, how sweet the sound… His voice, deep, steady, slightly...
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oh, my heart
There are some days that my heart just aches in a way I’m not even sure how to stuff into the smallness of letters and words. Life has been full and emotional and moving along so fast these last few...
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a tribute
Two weekends ago I spent hours making a video of Judah’s first year. It probably shouldn’t have taken so long, but that’s what inexperience combined with perfectionism will do to you. (Choosing the...
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hi guys, it’s me.
I haven’t been posting as much personal stuff lately as I used to. I guess in a sense it’s been hard for me to “switch gears” after my time in Papua New Guinea. I still think about the women I met...
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Happy birthday to me (Am I a grown-up yet?)
I keep wondering which birthday will catapult me into adulthood. It wasn’t 25. I was young and adventurous and celebrating by hurling myself from a plane. It wasn’t 30. I was young and in love and...
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Because He never stops giving. Ever.
Finally I could stand it no more. How could I continue tossing and turning and wide awake in bed while the newly decorated tree and Christmas-a-fied house was on the other side of the bedroom door?...
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Did you fail or succeed in 2012? (My answer is… YES.)
{photo by tiff} Discipline. Sounds fun, huh? Last year that was my “word for the year”. I’ve been choosing a word for the year most of my adult life now, and most years I can look back and easily see...
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In which I realize I might never feel ‘ready’ (to have more children)
Recently I’ve been wrestling with this internal battle about feeling ready to have more children. Or, more accurately, not feeling ready despite the face that I desperately want to. As much as I love...
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Teaching my son to pull his pants up, and teaching me to face my own weakness
Maybe you don’t need to be ready. Maybe you just need to be willing. I am a hopeless perfectionist. This means I not only like things done well, but I often put them off until I have time to do them...
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10 ways to take better care of yourself: Tools for busy moms
I’m not a big fan of the phrase “me time”. It always sounds selfish to me, and it’s usually waived around like it’s a right or entitlement. But here’s the thing – as a Christian I believe that I don’t...
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I’ve loved him for three years. But really, I’ve loved him always.
I know it was dangerous, but I couldn’t help it. I kept glancing over my shoulder to notice the lone car seat in the back. After a year-and-a-half of seeing two car seats out of the corner of my eye,...
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Sometimes, I don’t love all that well.
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about...
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The day I lost my baby
Trigger warning: Death, miscarriage, pregnancy loss, D & C. Disclaimer: Writing (and publishing) this account is part of my process of dealing with my grief. It is long and raw and somewhat...
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He is with us. Really.
{written April 5, 2013 } Friends, I wrote the story of our baby’s death in the early morning hours of last night – the day of my surgery – while emotions were raw and exposed and unpolished and not...
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This ground is holy
{written April 6, 2013} I thought she would be an opal baby like her mama. But October never seemed so far away. She’s a diamond now and I like that too – precious and beautiful and infinite in...
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Learning to stay afloat in the waves of grief
They say that grief comes in waves. And it’s true. The emotion comes and goes, comes and goes, comes and goes. They also say that you should never turn your back on the ocean; waves can come strong –...
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The day I lost my baby
Trigger warning: Death, miscarriage, pregnancy loss, D & C.Disclaimer: Writing (and posting) this account is part of my process of dealing with my grief. It is long and raw and somewhat graphic,...
View ArticleClik here to view.
He is with us. Really.
{written April 5, 2013 } Friends, I wrote the story of our baby’s death in the early morning hours of last night – the day of my surgery – while emotions were raw and exposed and unpolished and not...
View ArticleClik here to view.
This ground is holy
{written April 6, 2013} I thought she would be an opal baby like her mama.But October never seemed so far away.She’s a diamond now and I like that too – precious and beautiful and infinite in...
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